Revisiting & Changing Plans – Reimagining Hustle with Lyndall Farley

My big takeaway:

Do the important work

Listeners of the podcast will recognize Lyndall Farley, sabbatical coach, and all-around wonderful human. Lyndall comes back to the show to talk about what it was like taking a family sabbatical (in the middle of the pandemic) and everything she learned along the way. 

We talk about the importance of Unicorn time (with a little detour while we both gush about Eve Rodsky’s book Fair Play), what it’s like doing a family sabbatical vs an individual sabbatical, and how important it is to step into a growth mindset vs a fixed mindset.

Links from the show:

Show Notes:

[00:00:00] Roxanne: Podcasting from under my blankets. So it’s quiet enough to hear me. This is Reimagining Hustle, a podcast for entrepreneurial parents, creating a life or business and parenthood live peacefully in the same space. I’m your host, Roxanne Merket, a mom of two micro business coach and serial entrepreneur on a journey to prove that. It really is possible to do what you love. Without sacrificing all of your precious time. Let’s do this.

[00:00:37] Welcome back to Reimagining Hustle. You have already met my guest once before. I have the wonderful Lyndall Farley with me. Lyndall. I am like beyond excited to have you back. And I wanna just give my listeners just a little, uh, sneak peek into the email conversations that we’ve had over the last few weeks.

[00:00:55] So when we spoke with you last, you had just had your baby, I’m trying to remember, had you, you had just had her.

[00:01:01] Lyndall: she was two months. Two months old

[00:01:04] Roxanne: yes. Oh my goodness. So like just itty bitty little, itty bitty baby.

[00:01:07] Lyndall: Tiny, tiny

[00:01:08] Roxanne: And so out of the blue you emailed me and I was so, I was telling you earlier, my kids were in the room when I got your email and I squealed, and they were like, Mom, are you okay?

[00:01:18] And I’m like, You don’t understand. One of my favorite people just emailed me and said, Please, can we do a follow up podcast because things have changed and let’s talk again. Lyndall, I’m so excited to have you back. Welcome.

[00:01:31] Lyndall: And I’m so excited to be back because I was like, I was thinking of doing podcasts again. You know, just ramping things up again. And then I was like, Okay, which ones would I wanna go and do again? I was definitely Roxanne the list, like it was the, it was the best. And it was funny because I felt like, I was, you know, talking about the stuff I talk about, but I was getting so much of it out, the conversation myself, I was like learning and growing, just in half an hour. And we hung up the podcast and I was like “WHOA!”.

[00:02:04] Roxanne: That’s like the nicest thing anybody’s ever said to me. So thank you . I appreciate it. So I’m gonna catch, So you have not listened to Lyndall before. Lyndall is a sabbatical coach and I know things have shifted a little bit for you and we’ll. Get into all of it. Uh, but when we last spoke, I was preparing for my big move around the world to Japan.

[00:02:28] And your podcast actually was the thing that for me, I got, I hung up with our call was like, Okay, it actually like the world will not implode if I take three months off or six months off. And it really, like you gave me the courage to email all my clients. I email ’em that week and. Heads up, we’re doing this and uh, so anyway, so you made such an impact on me, so thank you for that.

[00:02:51] So will you catch us up to speed? Tell us like, so much has changed. Your baby is older, so you’re like, so on, like different, It’s a whole different world, being a mom, I feel like every stage is different, but your work has shifted a little bit too. So can I just like toss it at you and say, Please just tell us everything

[00:03:10] Lyndall: Yeah, it’s, it’s almost one of those funny things. Cause you have to remember back to when Adeline was two months old and she’s now 18 months old. Right. And it’s like, wow, that’s quite okay. Right? We have to go back and remember what’s happened since then. And basically the, the shorter answers a lot

[00:03:27] Roxanne: Yeah.

[00:03:27] Lyndall: So,

[00:03:28] Roxanne: everything.

[00:03:30] Lyndall: So, I mean, I was sort of, um, let’s say failing to be on maternity leave. When we first had our podcast , I was like, Yeah, I should be on maternity leave, but I just wanna keep on doing all these things cause they’re fun. And, um, and so I, I was on maternity leave, um, when we spoke and I, you know, coming to grips with, you know, being a mother and what that meant for my business and all this kind of stuff.

[00:03:54] And I think that, um, What’s kind of chat? Well, so I was on maternity leave, but I was still doing little bits of business stuff on the side, mostly because I enjoyed it and it gave me energy and it made me feel like a human, not just a milk machine, you know? And so that was like, you know, it was. Better for me to stay connected to that.

[00:04:15] And so I know that doesn’t work for everyone, but for me, I needed to stay connected to my business and I needed to, be able to choose which bits and pieces to take. And so, um, yeah. And then when Adeline was about seven months old, we headed off on our own adventure, uh, which was our family sabbatical. And the reason for that was cuz she was born in the middle of Covid.

[00:04:40] In lockdown and she had literally only met one family member and a couple of friends. Like that’s all that. And our family, we live in Amsterdam, I’m Australian, my husband’s American. So our family is literally scattered all over the world. And you know, nobody had been part of the pregnancy. Nobody had even met her.

[00:05:01] And so we really, the goal of the sabbatical was to have her meet all of her family around the world. Now, the challenge of this is obviously we were traveling around the world in the middle of a global pandemic a baby. So,

[00:05:16] Roxanne: No problem. Right? Like it’s fine. It’s fine.

[00:05:20] Lyndall: No problem. And so, I mean, we knew that that would throw up hurdles and it did.

[00:05:27] Right. But it, like, we were in Barbados and my husband got covid, and then like the whole, it was a, a, it was a, it was a bad situation. Anyway, we got outta there. We managed to escape back to Miami. But also then we needed to, So we, we spent, uh, six weeks traveling from the, the, all the entire west coast of America in an RV, which was amazing.

[00:05:54] It was the best adventure ever, but it was also exhausting.

[00:05:58] Roxanne: with a, with a baby. Sure. Like

[00:06:00] Lyndall: the baby. Yeah. So it was a great adventure, but exhausting. And then we, uh, we got to Kansas, met like she met her great grandparents and that was so special to us because. We don’t know if she’s gonna get to meet again. And then, um, and all of the family and then uh, Barbados, you know, and then, um, great for a moment and really not great

[00:06:26] Roxanne: Yeah. I mean, to have covid there and like in the middle of all this, Woo.

[00:06:32] Lyndall: Yeah, it was, well it was also just, it wasn’t really covid per se, it was just the bureaucracy and the travel restrictions and the testing, and it was all of the, uh, the issues that come, come with the actual kind of control of it. Um, anyway, and then we had to try and fly into Australia and for, uh, people who don’t know Australia over Covid became Fortress Australia, which.

[00:06:56] Uh, so basically they shut down to the rest of the world and you just could not get in. But we had a small window where we could get in. We managed to get. And then she met all of the Australian family, which was, you know, amazing. And so, um, uh, that’s kind of been my sort of mater. And then throughout the sabbatical, you know, also doing little bits and pieces of business stuff mostly.

[00:07:21] Taking on the, the individuals, but, and, but then I, you know, I had a couple of, um, corporate projects come to me and I just, I just kind of had to try them on and go, Do I really want to do this? Like the opportunity cost of me doing this means that I’m gonna spend less time with my family, you know? And I’m like, no.

[00:07:41] So I actually just passed them off to other people in my network and said no to things, which was great, you know, so, Yeah, I really took the sabbatical and then got back to Amsterdam. Of course, you know, cuz we do things in really easy ways. So when we were in Australia, we sold our apartment in Amsterdam to the tenant who was in it.

[00:08:04] And then because the tenant was already in it, we had nowhere to live. So then we had to rent a place site unseen from Australia in Amsterdam. And then we had to remotely coordinate Removalists to move our stuff out of the apartment into the new house. And so,

[00:08:20] Roxanne: Oh my word, Lyndall, I didn’t even know that part of the story was coming.

[00:08:25] Lyndall: I know. Yeah. Surprise. So, yeah, so that, that took up a bit of energy towards the end of the sabbatical. And then we had to, you know, move into, so literally we got back to Amsterdam after 24 hours on a plane with a baby, and, um, We literally got into a cab and went, Right, what’s the address? And they were like, Oh, so you’re not going home.

[00:08:48] And like, like, Well, we’re going home, but we’ve never seen it before. And he’s like, Right,

[00:08:53] Roxanne: This feels suspicious.

[00:08:56] Lyndall: and so we’re like walking up to our home. And we’re like, Is this it? Yeah, I think this is it. Okay. All right.

[00:09:04] Roxanne: my word.

[00:09:05] Lyndall: And,

[00:09:05] Roxanne: Oh, my word.

[00:09:06] Lyndall: someone meeting us with the Keys. We walk in the door and go, Oh, this is nice. This is nice.

[00:09:12] Roxanne: Yeah, I, I could live here. This’ll be fine.

[00:09:14] Lyndall: live here, so.

[00:09:20] Roxanne: my word. Oh my

[00:09:22] Lyndall: challenges? Challenges along the way.

[00:09:25] Roxanne: Oh my word. Okay. So the sabbatical you took, how long was the sabbatical? Cause I know the, the thing that I remember last from our last conversation, you blew my mind, is that you think about like a sabbatical for a tenured professor, right? You’re gonna take a year off and do something.

[00:09:38] But you, you kind of introduced this idea that a sabbatical could mean a month, it could mean three months, it could mean six months. So how long was the sabbatical that you took?

[00:09:47] Lyndall: So this sabbatical was six months because, um, we had, we had a long time to plan it. My husband was also on sabbatical and we had a lot of things that we needed to do. Right? We had to, and we, we needed to travel slower as well because it was a family sabbatical and we had a baby, right? Um, but I’ve taken, this was my 11th sabbatical, , and.

[00:10:12] Um, all of my previous sabbatical have either been with my, just my husband or, or, you know, most of them have been independent travel on my own or, or not even travel, just independent sabbatical. And so those have ranged from a month to a year. Right. And so a sabbatical really is just an extended break from work, um, to recharge and to do something different, to step out of the daily routine and to, uh, to learn and grow And, you know, Follow your passions.

[00:10:43] And so, um, that’s what we were doing. Yeah,

[00:10:47] Roxanne: word. So this is the first sabbatical as a family of three. This is Adeline’s first sabbatical. We’ll start count young, right?

[00:10:54] Lyndall: exactly. Exactly. Yeah. And it

[00:10:57] Roxanne: yeah, go ahead.

[00:10:58] Lyndall: it was really different because. Yeah. Is that what you could

[00:11:02] Roxanne: I was, I, yeah, I, I’m,

[00:11:04] Lyndall: yeah, We’re vi,

[00:11:05] Roxanne: made it, I know, I know, right?

[00:11:06] I wanna know what made this, um, different, What was the same kind of, you know, planning for a family versus, I mean, obviously an individual that’s gonna be different, but even you and your husband, how is this different?

[00:11:19] Lyndall: So, um, a family sabbatical is really different because one of the. Sort of key tenants of recharging on sabbatical is that for an individual is that you have autonomy and control over your time, and that is like fundamental, fundamentally one of the things that we don’t get a lot of in life. Because work demands, you know, you know, whatever the demands of your time are.

[00:11:47] And so it’s a chance to get back the control of your time. And so, um, and that in itself psychologically is something that helps to recharge us. Um, and so in a family sabbatical, first of all, you’ve got compromises because there’s multiple members. And then you check in a baby and you’re like, Well,

[00:12:07] Roxanne: And any plan you had anyway is gonna go out the window.

[00:12:10] Lyndall: Yeah, it’s like when you have a plan and then you chuck in the word baby and you’re like, Haha. Funny. Yeah. And so, um, yeah. So it just required a complete sort of rejigging of our thinking. Right. And so, as I said, I think I said in uh, beginning the goal of the sabbatical was for Adeline to meet her family around the world.

[00:12:32] And it wasn’t for us to kind. You know, get that deep rejuvenation recharge. Right. And. It, it was like, okay, you can have different purposes of sabbaticals and as an individual, most people are getting this deep rejuvenation and insights about themselves and this, kind of real time breakaway, you know?

[00:12:56] But as a family, the goal is different. You can still end up recharging, but you do it in a different, very different way. And so what I. Knew all of this, but it was one thing to know it intellectually and then to live it. And so what we learned throughout this was that we kept, we, even though we tried to slow things down, we weren’t doing, we weren’t going slow enough.

[00:13:26] Like we had to slow it down even more. Like we, we took our plan of what we thought was slow travel, and then we needed to. Slow. Like Harvard again.

[00:13:37] Roxanne: Oh my words. So what did that look like in practice? Cause obviously there’s like this theoretical bit, right? But in practice, what does that look like? How did that change?

[00:13:46] Lyndall: Well, so what happened was as we were traveling down the coast from Seattle to, um, San Diego, that’s like 3000 miles or two thou. It’s a long way, right? And so, uh, and also we were using Adelide’s. She was still doing two naps. And so we were using Adelide’s naps as the drive time. And so we’d get one hour, one and a half hours in the morning, and one and a half hours in the afternoon.

[00:14:10] And so we were really only able to travel sort of three hours a day, but basically we were in this big rv, so you like a little snail, your home is just on your back, like it’s great. And so we thought, Oh yeah, no, no problems. You just do three hours or you know, every couple of days just do three hours and we’ll just meander our way down.

[00:14:28] But even just the process of packing up the van to drive right. Actually took quite a bit of effort, right? And so it wasn’t just like, Okay, have some breakfast and then off we go. Um, it was like, Okay, then we have to put the sides in. We have to pack the thing away. We have to do the, we have to, you know.

[00:14:49] And so all of that daily was just, it was too much. So we ended up having to just have longer periods of time in one place instead of kind. So we’d have to go for driving for a longer distance over one day to get sort of further down the coast, but then stay there for a couple of days, you know? And so it was just a different mode of travel.

[00:15:14] So by the time we got to San Diego, we were like, Okay, we are not doing any one night or two nights, days max, like minimum three nights, wherever we stay.

[00:15:23] Roxanne: Yeah.

[00:15:24] Lyndall: And so, yeah, and then we, and then that helped us because then we were like, Okay, for the rest of our sabbatical, we’re not gonna be in the RV, but we’re gonna have, um, accommodation that we’ve booked.

[00:15:36] So, but we were like, minimum two weeks everywhere. Like, we’re not like, so, and that was, and that really is what we did. I mean, it was actually more like a month in places, you know? And so, um, Uh, yeah, that just framed, you know, how we needed to travel in order, in order to actually get what we needed out of the time.

[00:16:01] Right. Which was like less stress, less sort of transiting with the baby. Cuz that’s what took the energy. It was the moving that took the energy. Um, And then so, so travel aside, what we, what my husband and I also needed to do was basically contracting, you know, like contracting with each other of like, Okay, I need time out.

[00:16:23] You need time out. How do we schedule the day so that you’ve got, we called it unicorn time,

[00:16:30] Roxanne: oh.

[00:16:30] Lyndall: some on time. I’ve got some unicorn time. And so we came up with this schedule. Basically we, my husband and I are very structured. This would not work for everyone, but this is the way

[00:16:42] Roxanne: this works for you. Yeah.

[00:16:43] Lyndall: Yeah.

[00:16:44] And so we had sort of two kind of like on day off day schedule basically. And so on the on day you were doing more of the childcare and all this kind of stuff, like not, you still had some breaks because if you’re 24 hours, you know, childcare, obviously you’re, um, it’s tiring. But, um, it was then the other person got their unicorn space.

[00:17:07] Right. so this is, my husband was working on some projects of his own. I was trying to think through what’s the next phase of this business? And we needed, we wanted that time and space to be able to, you know, have our unicorn time and then, and so, but that needed us to be both on board with that and to contract with each other about how this works.

[00:17:30] And then whenever we were with family, we were like babysitters.

[00:17:36] Roxanne: Yes, I do miss the family babysitting

[00:17:40] Lyndall: exactly. And so then we could have couple time, right? And so it was just, it was remarkable how much scheduling was required on an like, basically an hour to hour

[00:17:55] Roxanne: Mmm.

[00:17:56] Lyndall: in order to get what we needed out of the sabbatical. And so that is the huge difference between the family sabbatical and the individual sabbatical is just that intentionality and the, the contracting with your partner and like the willingness to make it work

[00:18:15] Roxanne: Yeah, that makes so much sense. It’s so interesting hearing you talk first about the travel piece of it as you described it, I thought, this is exactly what I tell my clients when I tell them they need to batch things right? Is like, if it’s gonna take all the setup to prepare social media graphics, then do a bunch of them at a time to maximize that time.

[00:18:36] And so that’s interesting because I’d never thought about that. As far as travel is concerned, it makes so much sense. And I

[00:18:42] Lyndall: yeah, you’re right. We were batching

[00:18:44] Roxanne: Yeah. You were batching your driving, right?

[00:18:45] Lyndall: Yeah. Yeah,

[00:18:46] Roxanne: Um, I have to ask the unicorn time, is that from Fair Play? Eve Rodsky’s Fair 

[00:18:51] Lyndall: Yes, Yes. 

[00:18:53] Roxanne: Yes. Okay. So I have the deck actually like.

[00:18:56] Sitting, I’m gonna show you like our, this is an audio podcast, but like, we have our deck, right? Our fair play deck. So this is, I’m gonna, this is an not an ad, but Oh my word. If you are in a coupled relationship, you need fair play in your life. It is life changing.

[00:19:16] Lyndall: it really is, we, we did it on sabbatical, um, because by that stage we were a year into having Adeline and already like, so I, okay, so first of all, I mean, hat goes off to my husband. He found fair play because before Be before, Well it was recommended to him because he was on like an inclusion and diversity panel for before he went on sabbatical and they were talking about it and he was like, Oh, that’s interesting.

[00:19:48] He brings it to, he brings fair play to me and goes, We need to do this

[00:19:53] Roxanne: have a rare one. You have a rare one.

[00:19:55] Lyndall: know, I know. I was like, just step from this situation for a second and just acknowledge how much of a superstar husband you are right now. So, yeah. So when your husband brings you fair play, you’re like, Okay, he’s 

[00:20:11] Roxanne: Yeah. Yeah. Right. Seriously.

[00:20:14] Lyndall: Anyway, but fair play. Basically it did change our life, right? Because we, Cause I mean if you take that context of my, my husband bring fair play to me, right? So we’re already in a very, equality is really the basis of our marriage. Like we’ve always been very um, High on that. But um, it was interesting because, um, yeah, we had tried not to fall into those gender roles really.

[00:20:41] I was really trying not to fall into them. And then we did, I went into the fair play exercise and for people who dunno what it is, you basically divide up all of the daily tasks and um, and kind of things that you need to do in order to run a family. You divide them up and you write them all down on cards, and then you basically figure out, okay, who’s holding which card?

[00:21:06] And then that allows you to reallocate cards

[00:21:09] Roxanne: Yes,

[00:21:11] Lyndall: in order to get a fair play of the deck. Right. And anyway, so we did the initial exercise of just writing down all the work that needs to be done in our family and then. Yeah, we divided it up and I literally like, Sorry, we divided it up in terms of what’s the current state

[00:21:28] Roxanne: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:21:29] Lyndall: And I really thought, I thought, okay, I probably am probably like, like a little bit over 50% and you’re a little bit under 50%. That’s my guess as to how it’s gonna go. It was like 70-80% was in my deck.

[00:21:44] Roxanne: Uhhuh. Uhhuh.

[00:21:46] Lyndall: And I’m like, Oh my God, yes I do that. Oh my God, yes I do that. Oh my God, yes, I do that. And then, and that allowed us to, you know, um, have, you know, this honest conversation about Yeah, this is why I feel so busy all the time.

[00:22:01] And it’s not the doing of it, it’s the mental labor load

[00:22:04] Roxanne: The mental load of it. Yes.

[00:22:07] Lyndall: Keeping everything in check. And so we did this on fair play. We actually took, we were in Cairns in Australia and we, because we had babysitters and so we took ourselves away for a weekend in a lovely resort by the beach. And then we sat down and it took a long

[00:22:24] Roxanne: it does take some time. Yeah.

[00:22:26] Lyndall: Good part of a day and yeah, and then we redivided it and that is the way we now live our life.

[00:22:33] Roxanne: Oh

[00:22:34] Lyndall: It changed our life. It really changed our life because I suddenly, I had all of this load of the, what they call the daily grind tasks. All of this load taken off me and I was like, Oh my gosh.

[00:22:47] But the funniest thing is I then started feeling guilty. I’m like, I intellectually know this is a 50 50 split, but I feel like I’m not doing enough. Like it was, it was so random,

[00:22:58] Roxanne: yes, yes. Oh, I love that you did that. So this is like our total detour to fair play. So I will make sure, because this is, this is something I feel really strongly, There are people in my life who I’m like, Please, like how can I bring this up without telling them that I need to bring this up for them and their marriages?

[00:23:14] Right? So thank you

[00:23:15] Lyndall: I know. I know.

[00:23:17] Roxanne: that they’re gonna listen to this episode. So I can’t name them by names, but if you’re one of my close friends, you need this book in your life. Um, , right? But there is a book, so the book is called Fair Play and it’s Eve Rodsky, and there’s also a deck of cards that you can purchase as

[00:23:32] Lyndall: Yeah, we, we

[00:23:33] Roxanne: can make your own, right? You can

[00:23:35] Lyndall: Yeah, we didn’t even, because we were, we were on the road, right? So

[00:23:38] Roxanne: Yeah. So you couldn’t,

[00:23:39] Lyndall: have anywhere for them to be posted to. And so we, um, we literally just got, you know, the index cards, you know, the old fashioned

[00:23:47] Roxanne: Like three by five cards. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

[00:23:50] Lyndall: still buy those. And we just wrote, wrote it down.

[00:23:52] It really, it was great. So yeah. And we’ve still got them like, and so, Okay. To finish it off, I think Fairplay is good, but you have to keep on revisiting it cause we are now. Yeah. Cause we’re now six months down the track and it was interesting that little, little creepy things had kind of crept in. Right?

[00:24:13] And we looked at the deck again and we looked at which, you know, the, the even 50 50 split. And then like, I had to hold up a couple of cards and go, This is in your deck. I’m doing this.

[00:24:26] Roxanne: Ah,

[00:24:26] Lyndall: need to take this card.

[00:24:28] Roxanne: yes.

[00:24:29] Lyndall: We just kind of accidentally forgotten that like you were meant to be doing this. I, you know, and I’ve, I’ve actually been picking it up, you know, and it, not through anyone’s fault, but it’s

[00:24:41] Roxanne: No. Just kind of those, Yeah. It, it takes a lot of conscious effort to, to have equality there that way.

[00:24:48] Lyndall: Yeah, exactly. But it gives you the avenue to have the conversation about it. And I mean, I really don’t know what you would do if you didn’t have a willing partner because your partner has to value equality

[00:25:06] Roxanne: Yes.

[00:25:07] Lyndall: Because it’s actually what most partners, and I’m saying partner, but most of the time it’s the male partner.

[00:25:15] If we wanna be, I guess that sexist, but, Well, I don’t know.

[00:25:19] Roxanne: There’s, I mean, it’s true, right? Like, it, it definitely, there are things that fall outside of that kind of norm, but we do fall into these gender norms,

[00:25:26] Lyndall: Yeah, it’s, I, I don’t, we just fall into these gender stereotypes, right? And it’s, it’s really, it takes a lot of conscious effort to pull yourself out of that gender stereotype, but it requires the husband to value equality so much that he’s willing to take on more. So if you have like a partner who is not at all willing to take on more, They’ve got a really good wicket

[00:25:51] Roxanne: Right,

[00:25:52] Lyndall: it’s really, it’s really quite great

[00:25:54] Roxanne: Very convenient.

[00:25:55] Lyndall: doing it are very comedian, so I don’t, I know what you would do if you’re in that situation.

[00:26:00] Roxanne: I would say if you are in that situation, you have to find a good therapist fast. And even if you can’t find a good couple’s therapist, find the therapist for you. Like if you were the one who feels like that’s really unequal in your partnership, find a therapist like yesterday, . And I know it’s hard, I know it’s hard, but I honestly think that that’s the only,

[00:26:17] Lyndall: It’s true.

[00:26:18] Roxanne: that’s the only solution is to find because there, there. The fair play is it can’t fix that. Right. It can fix the equality side of things, but, and I wanna real quick just talk about the mental load cuz we kind of throw that around. But for those unfamiliar with this concept, this is the way that I describe it to people who are unfamiliar is think about dinner, right?

[00:26:37] If you’re, you’re gonna eat dinner tonight, great. Yeah. Well, who’s gonna figure out what you’re having for dinner? Who’s going to check and make sure you have all the ingredients to make whatever it is you’re gonna make? Who’s going to think about going to the grocery store? Who’s going to do the grocery shopping?

[00:26:50] Who’s gonna come home and make sure everything gets put away? Who’s going to actually make the food? Who’s going to make sure everybody gets the food that they need? Who’s going to clean up the dinner? Who’s gonna put everything, like, everything that goes into just dinner? And I feel like that’s, if you’re unfamiliar with that concept, hopefully that idea helps of, of essentially carrying.

[00:27:10] all of the mental labor that goes into it.

[00:27:12] Lyndall: Yeah, and the book actually calls it cpe, so C conception, P planning and E execution. And that’s where we all go wrong. Because what I was doing was Joseph, my husband, he was doing a lot of the either E, just the execution, but I was doing all of the conception, like conceiving and conception is like realizing that something needs to be done in the first place.

[00:27:39] And that’s, So, uh, you know, dinner, obviously you’re gonna realize that you need dinner, but what about the present for grandma? You know, like you have to realize that you need a present and then you have to go and buy the present and then you have to give the present to grandma. And so Joseph was just getting in on the give the present to Grandma a bit and coming out the hero and it’s.

[00:28:02] No, no, no, no,

[00:28:03] Roxanne: No, I’m sorry. No,

[00:28:04] Lyndall: the, I was the one that mentally had to keep the, keep track of the fact that grandma needs present.

[00:28:10] Roxanne: That it was her birthday or whatever. Yeah.

[00:28:12] Lyndall: yeah. And then I needed to go out and like, figure out what does grandma want for a present? And go and buy it. And then all you had to do was wrap it up and give it to her.

[00:28:23] Like that’s, you know, that’s not you doing the task. I did all of the mental load of the

[00:28:28] Roxanne: Right, right. Exactly. And so it’s, Oh my goodness. I love that. That’s, Thank you for going on that tangent with me. But that’s something I feel so strongly about, and

[00:28:37] Lyndall: life changing.

[00:28:38] Roxanne: really is. It really, really is. So if you have never heard of it, go like, just go get the book. Just listen. It’s great as an audio book, I listen to it as an audio book.

[00:28:47] Um, yeah. But it’s, it is absolutely life changing. Okay. So this kind of leads me into my next question then that I wanna ask you is, things have changed. Things have changed dramatically, and the name of the podcast is Reimagining Hustle. Right? We’re on this quest to reimagine what hustle looks like, and obviously like you’ve reimagined that within your household in the last six months.

[00:29:07] You’ve reimagined that with your daughter, getting older with your business, shifting a little bit. So tell me how are you reimagining hustle these days? What does it look like?

[00:29:17] Lyndall: Yeah. It’s so funny because it’s like, I feel like, um, owning a business is just this massive emotional journey, right? And you have, you end up learning a hell of a lot about yourself because it. Scary, Right? And you have to be constantly stepping into the unknown. And it’s like, and you don’t know where the paycheck’s gonna come from.

[00:29:37] You know, It’s not like you just go to work and you can have an off day and you still get a paycheck. You know, you’re only ever as good as like your last project. So, um, So what I’ve actually, um, started doing now in terms of reimagining, So first of all, the whole concept of hustle I dropped many, many years ago.

[00:29:59] I, because I’m a sabbatical coach, I literally talk about people taking time out to recharge. The concept of hustle is like, which is, you know, Working and not leaving any time for yourself. And, uh, and like basically just going on the path to burnout. Like no. Completely let go of that a long time ago, but there’s still a whole lot of stuff in the kind of hustle of running a business, Right.

[00:30:27] Um, that I am constantly needing to reimagine. And I think my latest epiphanies have come out of the sabbatical, but it’s, it’s really about, um, Measuring and rewarding myself for the progress rather than the outcomes. And I will circle back as to why that’s important for me. So, um, have you ever heard or read the book Growth Mindset?

[00:30:56] Roxanne: Yes,

[00:30:58] Lyndall: Yeah. So, um, there’s this concept of the very fixed mindset, which is very outcome focused, and it’s just, um, very goal orientated. Um, and is just doing everything to get to the goal, but not necessarily enjoying the journey. Right. And then, um, growth mindset is like really actually enjoying the. Of learning, enjoying, uh, and leaning into growth and, uh, you know, being happy with the process, uh, of learning and not knowing something and trying and failing and, you know, all of this kind of stuff.

[00:31:37] Right. So basically, um, I’ve always been super fixed mindset, and I’m trying to transition myself to growth mindset, right? And so the best way that I can do that on a daily basis is to try and stop putting my measures of success of myself on the outcomes, but putting my measures of success for myself on just continually taking the steps forward and measuring my success by.

[00:32:10] The, the process that I’m going through and the, the, uh, the progress that I’m making, not the outcome. So for instance, um, you know, measuring how many business proposals I’ve put out there, rather as the key measure of success rather than how many of those come back 

[00:32:32] Roxanne: Mm. 

[00:32:32] Lyndall: how many of those kind of earn money for me, right?

[00:32:36] So, and then trying. Failing. This is the hardest one for me to not measure my business success by the revenue, you know, in my bank account, but to measure it by the impact that I’m having. Right? And it’s like, it’s, uh, it’s a, it’s a massive shift, but by doing that, it actually kind of changes that hustle culture as well, because you’re actually.

[00:33:06] You know, rewarding the little steps and you’re, and you’re, you’re giving yourself a yay every time you make, you take a little step rather than, you know, giving yourself a yay when you get to this massive sort of goal at the end. And so I’m, I’m not, I’m still struggling to do that, but that’s, that’s where I’m trying to do, and that’s my new, new definition of hustle is, is like, let’s enjoy the journey

[00:33:33] Roxanne: Yes. Oh, and you have explained this so beautifully and I feel like you really encompass the struggle because it is hard, right? It is hard. And, and we’re living in this very capitalistic world. And so it’s hard to be like, well, like we’re not gonna measure it by the dollars because there’s so many voices all around us saying, Oh, you know, I hit a six figure month, or a six figure year, or a blah blah, blah.

[00:33:59] You know, I mean, I had a someone post on Facebook a couple months ago saying, you know, who’s actually making $20,000 in a month? And what are you doing? Cuz I wanna be making $20,000 a month. And my first question was, well, why, Like what, what, You know? And so it’s, it’s interesting to, to see that and to, uh, to recognize too that, um, That shift into that growth mindset, Right, Because it is, it’s, it’s a slower pace.

[00:34:28] And for those of us who have really thrived in that fast paced world, it feels almost like you were talking about with fair play, right? You almost feel guilty because you’re not doing everything all the time.

[00:34:44] Lyndall: It’s so, it’s so interesting that you raise the concept of guilt as well because I, Because you are right, it is a slower pace because the other thing that when you take on that mindset, the other thing that happens cuz you’re measuring impact and you’re measuring progress. The other thing, rather than dollars, you know, the other thing that happens is that you end up realizing that you need to invest in building the business and putting the solid foundations and like growing relationships, you know, slowly and organically. And like, because you’re, you’re doing this from a delivering value perspective, not just trying to do get the sale. Right?

[00:35:25] Roxanne: Yeah.

[00:35:26] Lyndall: And so that takes longer. And so you are necessarily having to invest in building a business that you believe will, you know, bear fruit in the, in the months and years to come rather than going after the quick kind of sale.

[00:35:45] Because then you are just quick as if, if you’re, if you’re always going after the quick money or the quick sale or the you, you’re just constantly like, uh, you know, head above water. And so it’s, but it, it requires this period. We haven’t really talked about it, but I’m now. In the sabbatical, I was reimagining what phase two of the business looks like, and I had been supporting, or I still am supporting individuals when they’re taking on a sabbatical.

[00:36:14] That’s a, a life changing catalyst for change and supporting them as a coach through that transition in their life and through the, um, helping them redesign their life.

[00:36:24] Roxanne: Mm-hmm.

[00:36:25] Lyndall: And using the sabbatical as the impetus to be able to give them that perspective and the insight to make real change. Um, and I still do that, but I realized where I can have greater impact is if I solve this problem at a company level.

[00:36:41] And so we help getting sabbatical programs for wellbeing in, at the company level. So more people can take sabbaticals, um, and I can have more impact. Um, and, uh, uh, you know, we actually start to change. We start to reimagine the hustle culture in a, in a, in a corporate context, right?

[00:37:03] Roxanne: working smarter, not harder. Right.

[00:37:05] Lyndall: Yeah, exactly. And having these periods of deep rest, you know, every couple of years, every seven years, whatever it might be, you know, allowing people the time and space to actually take the punctuation between parts of their career, you know, And so, um, But as you know, if you are moving from selling coaching programs to individuals, to building relationships with companies, I mean, I’ve had to take a massive step back in terms of.

[00:37:37] The speed of the, just the sales cycle of that is completely different. You know, uh, an individual will take what, a month maybe to come on board. I mean, it’s not, I mean, a lot of the time, by the time they contact me, they’re ready to go. You know, it’s one call and we’re done.

[00:37:53] Roxanne: It’s a

[00:37:54] Lyndall: Or one call and

[00:37:55] Roxanne: made in their mind that they’re doing it. Mm-hmm.

[00:37:58] Lyndall: And, but with a corporate, you know, they’re, even just their budget decision cycles can be, you know, six months or whatever. And so I know by putting my focus on my values and having an impact and um, you know, doing the thing that I think is the important thing to do, that I am, um, doing the work that I

[00:38:25] need to do, right. Or the work that I want to do. But it takes so much time to build that up, right? And so, and it takes a lot of energy and so I’m constantly splitting it between, I still support the individuals, but I’m not pushing that as the revenue stream. Now I’m pushing this. And so there’s less coming in

[00:38:46] Roxanne: Yeah.

[00:38:47] Lyndall: it’s like, okay, so how do we, how do I value my time? So that I know that I’m making an investment in the future of the business. Um, and basically just trust that that’s gonna come to fruition.

[00:39:02] Roxanne: Close your eyes and jump, right? That’s,

[00:39:05] Lyndall: exactly. And so it’s like, okay, so I guess the one way that I’ve managed that for myself is, I’ve gi, I’ve given myself a six month, um, kind of deadline of like really pushing into corporate.

[00:39:19] But the measure of success at the end of the, the, that six months is not revenue in the bank account, but it’s like the, the, the positive steps that this is moving in the right direction. And it’s like, I need, So basically, if I was to do this for six months and, um, have, have submitted no proposals, had no calls with any, um, HR teams, uh, and, and, you know, sort of no interest.

[00:39:52] Then I’d be like, I think there’s, you know, this is not gonna,

[00:39:55] Roxanne: something’s off. Something’s

[00:39:57] Lyndall: Something’s off here. Yeah. But so that’s where it’s like measuring the progress rather than the outcome. Because the revenue, if you things, the proper things to build the business and you do in a value aligned, um, state where I apply my values of like generosity and impact, um, then.

[00:40:22] I believe that, you know, I will, The business will thrive, right? But it requires that investment. And so yeah, I’m in that stage where I’m morphing the business from one type to another, basically.

[00:40:39] Roxanne: Which is terrifying, . It’s a terrifying thing. So I would love for you then, um, would you give us a pep talk? And I think what I really want is will you give yourself a pep talk and let us listen in.

[00:40:53] Lyndall: Mm. Yeah, Yeah, yeah. Good. Good question. Right? So I’m gonna give myself, um, some framework here. So, all right. I am Lyndall, um, at December, 2023.

[00:41:13] Roxanne: Okay.

[00:41:14] Lyndall: And yeah, and I’m giving myself the pep talk that I need to hear as Lyndall 2022 now, so, All right. So yeah, basically, I know that it’s hard to focus on the progress and just trust that everything is, going to flow but you already have market signals that this is the right direction and you need to divorce yourself from success being a bank account balance. Success has never been money to you. It’s always been about the impact that you have in people’s lives and making a difference and doing something that you’re actually passionate about doing. If I continue to, if you continue to just focus on the easy thing to get money in the bank account, you’re not gonna be doing the thing that actually means something that is actually important. You’re not gonna be doing the important work, so roll up your sleeves, put on your big girl pants and do the important work because if you do the important work, money will flow

[00:42:43] it doesn’t, it will flow. But you have to be doing the important work just to be able to live in your own skin as a human being. So Keep going.

[00:43:00] Roxanne: Lyndall, I have goosebumps and tears all at the same time. Whew. Pure magic. Pure

[00:43:06] Lyndall: That was really good. I actually really needed to hear that today.

[00:43:10] Roxanne: Um, Okay. But so did I, and I guarantee you people listening to this too as well. I am, the thing that I’m most looking forward to is when we, when I actually like get this all ready to go, is I’ll send you a couple audiograms right, for you to share. And I always do the, the pep talk as an audiogram and I’m just gonna like address that one.

[00:43:27] Like, Dear Lyndall, like this one is for you. Listen to that

[00:43:29] Lyndall: This one’s for you. Yeah. Listen. Listen to yourself, giving yourself advice. Yeah, it’s good. Yeah. It’s so, Wow. It gives me so much energy too. It’s like, Yeah. Yeah.

[00:43:42] Roxanne: you’re

[00:43:42] Lyndall: I feel like, like it’s only the morning time for me, Right. And I’m like, right.

[00:43:47] Roxanne: Like, we’re gonna just do this. We’re gonna do, Oh, my word. I told you, I had like tears on my eyes. I’m like, I, I always have water, but I should put tissues next to me. Now I, Oh my goodness. I could talk to you for hours and hours and hours, but I do wanna be very respectful of your time and of your sweet family’s time as well.

[00:44:06] Um, so tell us, I know we’ve, we’ve met you before, but will you, for those listening to this, tell us where we can find you online. Tell us where we can follow this journey and, um, also as you’re telling us that if they’re, cuz I know you’re working with corporate clients as well, so if anybody’s listening to this and they think, Oh, I wish my HR manager would just call Lyndall, can you give us just a little bit of a plug there too?

[00:44:26] Lyndall: Yeah, for sure. So, um, uh, yeah. You can find me on LinkedIn. I’m always on LinkedIn. That’s where I, I hang out. Um, not so much Facebook, Instagram, there’s a few things there, but, um, basically, uh, yeah, connect with me on LinkedIn and don’t feel afraid to send me a message and, and have a chat. I always love talking about sabbaticals, so, um, Uh, yeah, you can also find everything about what I’m doing, including loads of sabbatical resources, planning guides and calculators, and pitch packs for your boss, all on beyond a

[00:45:06] So that’s the name of my business beyond a break. Um, yeah, and in terms of if, if you really think. We need sabbaticals as the business. Then put me in touch with the person who runs your wellbeing programs, your employee benefits programs, and yeah, I’d be happy to talk to them about that. So what I do there is basically.

[00:45:29] Do a sort of done for you sabbatical program that’s gonna help the business thrive. And that’s because I’ve been doing this for a while. And so I’ve pulled together an execution package, an employee toolkit, um, workshops, everything that, uh, a company would need to successfully launch and, and manage sabbaticals in the business.

[00:45:50] So,

[00:45:51] Roxanne: Awesome, awesome. And we’ll make sure all the links will be in the show notes. Lyndall, I think we’re already gonna have to schedule another one because

[00:45:58] Lyndall: I know, right?

[00:45:59] Roxanne: this. Like can we just, will you just come with me every couple of months and we’ll just talk more? This has been just like an absolute treat for me.

[00:46:08] Thank you for emailing me. Again, Thank you for coming on the show. Again, thank you for spending this time with me and with us. I thank goodness. Like I said, I just, I adore you, so this is really fun for me.

[00:46:20] Lyndall: Well, the feeling is mutual.

[00:46:22] Roxanne: Thanks, thanks. Awesome. Okay, well make sure you go, uh, follow Lyndall go connect with her on LinkedIn and, and, uh, hopefully we’ll see you on sabbatical very, very soon.

[00:46:34] Lyndall: All right.

[00:46:36] Roxanne: 

[00:46:36] Thanks for listening to Reimagining Hustle with Roxanne Merket. If you like the show and want more, check out and please leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. We’ll be back next week with another episode. See you soon.