Create The Life You Want – Reimagining Hustle with Regina Sloan

My big takeaway:

Be intentional in creating your life

In this episode of Reimagining Hustle I talk to Regina Sloan, a mom of four, nurse, real estate investor, life coach, and podcaster.

Regina shares her journey and how she finds balance in her many roles. She emphasizes the importance of setting limits and boundaries to make it all work, rather than striving for even balance. Regina also discusses the stigma around being a mom and how it can lead to guilt and unrealistic expectations.

Regina encourages mothers to prioritize self-care and pursue their passions, setting an example for their children of what’s possible. She defines success as the progressive realization of a worthy goal, and encourages everyone to not be afraid to pursue their dreams.

Links from the show:

Show Notes:

Roxanne: Podcasting from my closet in Northern Japan. This is Reimagining Hustle, a podcast for entrepreneurial parents, creating a life where business and parenthood live peacefully in the same space. I’m your host Roxanne Merket, a mom of two micro-business coach and serial entrepreneur on a journey to prove that it is possible to do what you love without sacrificing all your precious time.

Let’s do this.

Welcome back to Reimagining Hustle. I am already thrilled to introduce my guest today. I have Regina Sloan with me. Regina, how are you?

Regina Sloan: Hey, I’m good. How are you?

Roxanne: Good. We have just had such a really fun conversation even before we started recording, so I can’t wait to see what the next part of our conversation reveals and, and shares with us.

So will you just dive right in? Will you tell us about you, the work you do? I know you do a lot of things, so tell us kind of like, just paint the picture for us about your life and, and if you can tell us a little bit about your journey to get there as well.

Regina Sloan: Yeah. Uh, yeah. You said I do a lot and that’s so true because like when I’m preparing for these, I’m like, okay, I need to be able to concise this into something smaller. So bear with me.

Roxanne: Yeah. Oh, I

Regina Sloan: So, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, hello everyone. I’m Regina. Um, I am married to an amazing traveling artist here in the US. Um, I like to start there because we just have done so much together.

Um, and he’s, he’s a tattoo artist. He’s a painter. He travels around the country doing fun things and we get to go sometimes. Uh, I have, we have four children, ages two, five. 12 and 17. And so that has its own lot of things that happens there. Um, and we are, both my husband and I are real estate investors, so we decided, um, last year, I think to buy a first, first investment property.

And all kinds of hell has broke through since then. But we’re learning.

Roxanne: Yep.

Regina Sloan: Um, we’re learning there. Um, I am a full-time nurse. I’ve been a nurse for 10 years now, and I really have to dedicate a lot of what I’m talking about to that because my time as an, as a nurse has like gifted me with so many skills.

Um, just over the years of working with taking care of meeting thousands of people, like the people I care for, the people I work with, their family, like just so much. And so I’ve learned to like deal with and talk to and observe and just do all things with people as far as communication and just being able to really see how people are and, and we’re all the same when it kind of comes down to it.

And so, um, with that, I, I realized it several years ago that like many people that came into the hospital, even though they were there for health reasons, oftentimes they had a lot of like mind stuff going on. And so a lot of my job as a nurse was really like counseling and still is counseling people. Um, they are, a lot of them are older.

So like, man, I wish I would’ve did this and that. And so just conversations always come from that. And I began to get curious just like about like, The choices we make in life and how many of us don’t really create our life, we kind of allow it to happen. So I learned about life coaching and that’s what I’m doing now.

Um, I took that on as soon as I heard about it and got some life coaching myself and it changed me. And I’m like, I need to give this to everybody. And so, um, that’s what I do. I am building my life coaching business. I’m still a nurse. I’ll be moving out of that role, um, as soon as I get my life coaching to where it, it, it pays all the bills.

And so, Um, I kind of life coach at work actually. Like, it just kind of coincides with everything. And I also have a podcast, um, yeah, it’s, uh, Moms Who Achieve and that’s really life coaching in its basics. Like I talk about managing your mind and how to, you know, create the life you want and live intentionally.

Um, and so, yeah, I’m excited about that. And I think that sums up.

Roxanne: that that is so much, so much, and, and yet in all of this, there’s such a calmness and an awareness about you, which is really, really fun. So I. Okay, so I wanna make sure that I’ve got this right. Four kids traveling artist spouse, full-time nurse, life coach, podcaster, what do you do for you?

Regina Sloan: Oh. The hardest question ever. You know what, like it sounds like a lot, and maybe it is. I’m just not, I’m just used to it. Maybe, um, because I had in this. Yeah, because everyone’s like, oh my God, how do you do all that? I mean, I had my son at, I was 16, so I’ve always had to care for someone else. So that makes it more difficult, right.

Um, but these days, and I know how important self-care is, I really do find the time, like at least once or twice a week, I’m at my favorite coffee shop, um, doing what I love, which ends up being something with my business, cuz I love it though. It doesn’t feel like it’s work. And so, yeah, I do that. I make sure I put the little ones in in bed at a decent time so I can have a couple hours before I go to sleep.

Like I really just fit it in.

Roxanne: Yeah. Yeah.

Regina Sloan: just being alone honestly, that that’s what I do. Sleep. No one talking to me not even my husband. I’m like, excuse me. I just let them down. Like, I’ll call you back. I, I need my time.

Roxanne: I need just, just a moment. Just a moment. I, I love that though, because it’s a, a really honest answer. Right. A very real answer. So, what does success look like to you? I mean, you’ve, you’ve got, you know, the real estate investing, the podcasting, the life coaching, the nursing, the being a mom, the being a human being, you know, all of these things.

What does success look like and has it changed over the years?

[00:05:56] What does success look like?

Regina Sloan: Mm. Yes. I, if you had to ask me, Five years ago what success was? I would say a millionaire. I would say, um, never having any issues, um, doing exactly what I love at all times. But since I have started my life coaching, and also that’s me elevating and evolving as a person. There’s this, um, guy may have known Earl Nightingale.

He, he, he’s passed, um, but he was a, what would you call him? Maybe a. He’s a motivational speaker in a different way, but in his time. And he, I have taken on his definition of success and he defines it as the progressive realization of a worthy goal. And when he explains that, it just, I love it so much because it’s not necessarily like, You have all the things, you have the money, you have no debt.

Business is great, kids are great, life is great. It’s once you have decided you want something, then you’re successful. Because when you make that decision and you start taking those steps to move towards it, then it’s, it is more about the journey, right? Than like, Like the investment, for example, like any and everything that could go wrong has gone wrong with this investment property, you know?

But we know what our goal is with it and we are like, yes, can’t wait to get rid of it so we can get another one. And it’s still success to us cuz we’re moving forward in the way that we see fit and that can change at any time.

Roxanne: I, I’m gonna be honest with you, I have had a lot of answers to this question. This is, I think, your podcast number 75. If I’ve done my math right and I think I. There have been up until now, 74 different answers. Your different answer, 75. And I’ve never heard any variation on this. No, no take on this. No, nothing.

This is like so fresh, so new, so invigorating to me and so inspiring to me. So thank you for sharing that definition because it’s, it is, it, it shifts the focus to the journey. It really does

Regina Sloan: And it takes the stress off like, oh yeah, life sucks right now, but I know what we’re doing. Let’s go.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Regina Sloan: Yeah.

Roxanne: Oh,

Regina Sloan: Thank you. Earl Nightingale?

Roxanne: thank you, Earl Nightingale. I gotta, I gotta go look him up. That’s really cool.

That’s Wow. Wow.

Regina Sloan: Yeah. Look him up on YouTube.

Roxanne: Oh, okay. Okay. That’s perfect. We’ll find some, we’ll have to yeah. Link ’em in the show notes. Right? That, that’s, love it. I love it. So, Regina, I wanna know, how has being a parent during all of this changed you?

You’ve been a parent for a long time. You said you had your son at 16, and so it’s, I feel like that’s being a parent is, let’s see because you said your son is 17, right? So you’ve been a parent for more than half of your life. How has being a parent through this whole journey changed you as a person?

[00:08:47] How has being a parent changed you?

Regina Sloan: Well, I think when I had him, um, it was very much, okay, here’s this baby and I just need to do what I gotta do and dunno what I’m doing, but I’m doing so with no purpose, I should say. Um, but I do believe like my kids. Always, I think they’re the, like the basis of what has pushed me to wanna do more, see more, be more.

Um, and so, and that always has changed throughout the years. Like so what my goals were 15 years ago and 10 years ago, and thought they’re all different. But at the base of it all, and especially as I’m growing and then seeing him grow into an adult, um, I really feel like, especially with entrepreneurship, What I’m doing, everything I do on a daily basis, like even it’s like cooking dinner and like, Hey, it’s important for us to have a meal together, or, yes, we’re gonna be millionaires, whatever it is.

Like it’s really just me being an example, like to them of what’s possible. Like,

Roxanne: Hmm.

Regina Sloan: you know, like they see us every day and of course they see all the people outside of here as well, but to like live with someone, like my daughter’s always like, what you got an interview? What you’re coaching, somebody they need help from you.

What? Like, it’s just so exciting. And they’re like, I’m like, yeah. I’m like super cool.

Roxanne: Yeah. You are.

Regina Sloan: like, yeah, but you know, like you can do whatever it is that you want, um, has been the basis of what we’ve, we’ve talked about. And so for me, I feel like. They’re a motivation of their own, and each of them motivate me in different ways and they also are my mirror, like if I mess up the most, it’s with parenting.

Roxanne: Yes. Oh.

Regina Sloan: So I am, they have taught me how to apologize and that that helps you in your business and in life and all that. They’ve taught me that I am not perfect. I never will be perfect, and that’s just not even a goal anymore. And just to like live and have fun. I feel like kids just in their own ways, really just challenge who you are all the time.

Every day from the time they get up, till they go to sleep. You know, um, yeah. So yeah, and we have the code switch so much because like how I’m with the 17 year old is now how I am with a two year old, and so I, they just keep me on my toes and push me in all the ways possible.

Roxanne: you almost have to have like that quick reflex and reaction. Right.

Regina Sloan: Yeah,

Roxanne: So something you said really struck me. You said that they encourage you to do more and I, okay, so I’m gonna, I wanna unpack this one together for a second because it has my mind spinning a little bit in. A lot of the moms that I’ve known my whole life, I feel like they have kids and it shuts them down almost. It’s like they can’t be themselves because they’re so tied up in this role of mom. So they stop pursuing things that they loved. They drop hobbies, they, you know, don’t go out with friends. They just, and, and I know that it’s different being a mom, right? Like I know you have to shift a lot of things, but, but you said this, they encourage you to do more and I’m.

And I would love to know your thoughts on that, on kind of that contrast, like how has, how has that motivated you rather than shut you down? And do you see that as well?

Regina Sloan: Yes. I love that you brought that out. That up, because I didn’t even notice that contrast until you said it, but. Yes, I see it all the time. I have friends who are like that, you know, women that I’ve met. I think, I think it’s so much to it. Um, the first thing that comes to my mind is just this stigma that goes around being a mom.

And so like, you’re a mom. Like we automatically think mom is doing everything and dad can’t do it. Like, you know, or you, you know what I mean? Like, it’s mom, what does mom wanna do? And all of that. So I think there’s a stigma around it. And for me personally, I am a woman before I’m a mom, period. Period. And when they leave my house, I want to be still, I wanna still be a woman.

Cuz I find that many people, people, oh my God, they’re leaving. I’m so sad. And although I will be sad as things shift, like another part of my life opens up right when that, when I’m no longer having to care for small kids. So I guess for me, I don’t define myself as a mom. Like I’m a woman that has children.

Like that’s part of what I do. Um, and I think it important, I think it’s important too for us to like, Again, what’s possible with our kids and allowing them to see, like I have three daughters, like I want them to know that your life is not encompassed by the kids you have. You know, like you can be a mom and do all the things and be there for them.

You can also do these other things. And I guess lastly I would say is that to me, If I were to do that, if I were to just like, okay, I’m a mom and everything is momming and that’s it. It’s kind of a disservice to my kids of like what life can be. I don’t want 20 plus, you know, for me he’s gonna be 17 and a two-year-old.

Like that’s a lot of years to just be momming. You know what I mean? Like, I want them to see, oh, you can be a mom and you can also be an investor. You can also, whatever it is, you can also have your own business. You can, oh, you can be a mom and also leave your kids. Like I actually had this conversation a few weeks ago because a friend of mine found out that for Mother’s Day, like I don’t want to have like, All these, you know what people do, they get together, have the kids and all that.

Like I get a room at Airbnb overnight and I stay there and that’s my thing. It’s my gift to myself, you know? And I am not bothered. Like I get to do what I want. So for two days, like I go to breakfast and lunch and dinner and shop, and then I go to Airbnb and I just relax and chill. Like I just, I don’t know.

I think it’s healthy to just have that break for sure.

Roxanne: That’s genius. That’s genius. I, oh man. I, I feel like you’re just dropping microphones all over the place and it’s fabulous. It’s fabulous. So, okay, so I wanna talk about guilt then. So, I feel like guilt comes up a lot when we start to have like this idea that you leave for Mother’s Day. Uh, obsessed with it.

Absolutely obsessed with it. I definitely have also not on Mother’s Day weekend and now I’m thinking, oh, maybe I should, but there have been about quarterly I skip town for two nights and you know, just regroup. Right. And so it’s the same idea. Do you ever experience guilt around living all of these worlds as a mother?

[00:14:55] Guilt?

Regina Sloan: Yeah. Yeah, I do. Um, but not maybe for the reasons that most people do. Like when you say you get away, quarterly I think it’s amazing because how better are you when you come back? Like just that, you know, like you, you know that feeling like that refreshed, I’m ready. So I think that’s a benefit for the kids, for your husband, your spouse, whoever, like anyone who’s doing, I think it’s a benefit for everybody involved.

But for me, guilt comes really just from humanness, like, because I’m taking on so many things. Then I might forget that my daughter said she wanted to do this thing next week. Or, um, I might, my time management, especially like first getting started, it’s like, oh my God, I’m all over her place. I, I just don’t know.

I can’t remember this. Can’t remember that last week. I forgot a birthday party because I just didn’t put it in the calendar. And so my guilt is just like learning those kinds of things. Um, But I guess I find that the more I better, I’ve managed my time better, the more I can spend time with each kid, I can do these things.

And I also don’t have realistic, unrealistic expectations of myself like I used to, like wanna spend, I was in this positive parenting course years ago, which I loved, but one of the things was like every day, 20 minutes a day for each kid just doing whatever they want. And that just didn’t work for me.

And for years I was just like, Beating myself up about it, and then who am I? When I’m beating myself up? I’m not my best self. And it’s just this big cycle and it’s cyclist, listen, and there’s really no balance, even balance. So I’m gonna do what I can do. Sometimes I do more, sometimes I do less. But we have those conversations and I think when I am paying attention, when I am present, I can pick up on when like one kids need, they need me a little more.

Something’s on their mind, or you know what I mean? Those real things that I wanna make sure I’m there for. So yeah, that’s where my guilt comes from, I guess.

Roxanne: I like, it’s a good take. It’s a good take on guilt because it, it really does teach us who we are and kind of point out where we need to change things, so I appreciate that perspective. What do you wish people knew about being a parent and an entrepreneur and a nurse, and a real estate investor, and a podcaster, all of the, what do you wish people knew about just living in that intersection of worlds?

[00:17:04] What do you wish people knew?

Regina Sloan: Yeah. Um. I guess that there is no even balance, at least for me, there’s, there’s not been, um, this cookie cutter time for this time, for equal time. Um, I’ve tried it and not only does it just make me a, a less of a good mom, for lack of better words, it’s just overwhelming and overwhelms me in itself to do, um, because.

Especially when you work, like if you are working nine to five, you know, you’re clocking in, you’re clocking out and that’s it. You usually typically don’t have to take work home with you. But when you’re an entrepreneur or building a business, especially in the beginner stages, like you are the business, you are the brand.

And so you have to like create the time to do things. You have to cut the time off you have, you know, whereas where I’m just clocking out, I don’t have to do that. And so that was the first thing that I learned. Um, but with that, I also wanna say it’s so much power in like setting limits and boundaries.

Um, I think that’s, for me, that’s how I make it work. So I’m planning out, you know, my week and I’m choosing times that I’m doing business stuff. And then the times that I’m not, like, I’m literally not, I’m not checking emails, I’m not texting, I’m not my face, I’m doing nothing. I’m present. So I guess there’s no even balance, but I’m deciding intentionally on purpose where I’m spending my time instead of like allowing the kids to take up all the time or allowing the business to take up all the time, like I’m deciding what I’m doing each day.

Roxanne: Mm-hmm. Really pulling that control back. That’s, uh, that’s great. Regina, I wanna ask you a question about the name of this podcast. So I, when I first started my business, I actually was not a parent and, and I super bought into hustle culture. I mean it,

Regina Sloan: Yeah.

Roxanne: I am ashamed to admit it. No, I’m not. I I, I mean really though, like I, I bought into it.

I, I felt it, you know, love the hustle, the go, the work hard, then work harder and then work harder and never sleep. And busy is a badge of honor and all that nonsense. And, um, and then I had my first child and my whole world stopped as it does. And I instantly knew that the way that I was living that entrepreneur life was not sustainable.

So I’ve been on this quest to reimagine the idea of hustle since then. So I would love to know how do you reimagine hustle?

[00:19:22] How do you remagine hustle?

Regina Sloan: Yeah. That’s such an amazing question. I think I, I love that you’re talking about this because it needs to be talked about all the time, especially for those of us with kids. Um, I reimagine hustle as being more fun and just relatable. Um, Oftentimes, especially like if I’m working with certain clients who, their main thing is they wanting to, you’re, they’re wanting to build their business.

There’s no fun in it. It’s just like, I gotta do this, I gotta do that. And if we just had more fun, it was more relatable and just more chill. Like we, things are going to come because I, I personally believe you create the life you want. So if you like, believe in certain things, this is what I want, it’ll come.

Um, I would also imagine it as, Us being more aware of what our goals really are. Like what do we really, really want? Like I want a million dollars, or I wanna be rich, or whatever. Um, whatever someone’s goal is. Oftentimes when I’m, when you get to the depths of it, we’re doing all this busy stuff, it’s not even related to that or won’t get us to that.

And I think that we will hustle less if we decided what we wanted to do and then aligned what we did with what we wanted to do. You know, like for instance, I say you wanna be a life coach

Roxanne: Mm-hmm.

Regina Sloan: And when someone’s first starting out, what they wanna do, they wanna build a website, you gotta have email listing and you need freebies, you need this and this and this.

And it’s like, those are great, but that’s not a, that’s not gonna actually give you the practice of being a life coach. You need to like meet as many people as you can. Tell them you’re a life coach. You know, I’m learning this from other people as well. When I first started, cuz I kind of got into that too.

Oh my God, I need everything to be perfect. I can’t tell anybody what I’m doing until I have all this and all that. If we save time, if we just, what do you wanna do? And just go do it, learn as you go, um, and let all this other things fall into place. I think we would have more, more time to, you know, you would, you would do more with your time, I guess.

Roxanne: Mm-hmm. That’s, I can live in that reimagined version of hustle. I like that. I like that a lot. Oh man, Regina, I just, I knew this was gonna be a fun one, but I don’t think I knew how fun this was gonna be. So before we find out where we can find you online, cuz we need more of you, will you give us a 30 second pep talk for other moms on this journey?

Maybe feeling that overwhelmed feeling that like they don’t have that control, they don’t know how to take that control back. Will you just give us a little pep talk?

[00:21:45] Pep Talk

Regina Sloan: Yeah. Hmm. I would say first and foremost have grace. Um, especially if you’re first starting something out because it’s hard. You don’t know what the hell you’re doing and you’re not supposed to. So have grace for yourself. Be learn as you go. Um, calendar everything. Like I do not know how people make it without a calendar, so I.

Calendar, calendar, calendar from the, the time you’re spending with your kids calendar, how many hours a day you’re spending on, like literally put in like seven to 9:00 AM I’m working on this. It’s because you’ll get more done in my, um, opinion when you do it that way. Um, I feel like when you calendar, that keeps family first.

And I think a lot of moms like that’s what we struggle with. We don’t want our kids to not feel our presence and not feel needed. So when you calendar, when you plan ahead, take things slow and just not compare yourself to other people who probably have a very much different reality than you do.

Roxanne: Mm-hmm. Mm. So good. So good. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. We need more of you. Where can we find you online?

Regina Sloan: Yeah, so, um, I have a podcast Moms Who Achieve. Definitely check that out. And I have an email coach regina sloan I, um, am on social media, Facebook and Instagram Moms who Achieve. And yeah, I keep it simple. That’s how anybody can find me.

Roxanne: I love it. I love it. We’ll make sure we link everything in the show notes. Regina, this is, you know, we were talking earlier, I’m in Japan, you’re in the Midwest, and it’s, so we have very different time zones right now, but for me, this is such a good way to start my day. So thank you for the gift of your time

Regina Sloan: Yeah.

Roxanne: for just my goodness.

Just all of it. Your energy, your wisdom, all of it. Thank you.

Regina Sloan: Well, thank you. I love your podcast. Thank you for what you’re doing. I always enjoy just listening to what you have to say and I love hearing people’s answers at the end too. So thanks so much. I thank you so much for having me on.

Roxanne: Thank you.

Thanks for listening to Reimagining Hustle with Roxanne Merket. If you like the show and want more, check out reimagining and please leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. We’ll be back next week with another episode. See you soon.