Live your own life intentionally
Roxanne: Podcasting during school when my house is quiet enough to work, this is reimagining hustle. A podcast for entrepreneurial parents, creating a life where business and parenthood live peacefully in the same space. I’m your host Roxanne Merket. A mom of two micro-business coach and serial entrepreneur on a journey to prove that it is possible to do what you love without sacrificing all your precious time.
Let’s do this.
Welcome back to reimagining hustle. We’ve got another pep-talk recap for you today. I’ve selected five of my favorite pep talks from the last 75 plus episodes. And thought we’d put them all together in a nice little single podcast episode where we could listen in. Uh, be reminded of some of the great gems that we’ve had over the last
my goodness. So many episodes.
This one’s been especially fun for me today. I picked some of my favorites, some reminders that I needed personally. And I’m hoping that you need as well. So let’s dive right in. We’re going to first hear from Zanade.
Zanade: yeah, listen, I’m gonna keep it 100% real. I want you to know that what you are doing is worthy. What you believe in is valid. Your time, your timeframes, your deadlines, all of these things, these self imposing beliefs that you have put on yourself, it’s all nonsense, right? You can move the way your heart and your mind desires.
You got to believe in yourself. You’ve got to believe in your journey. You have to believe that whatever you put out in the ocean is going to turn right back to you, right. When that tide is ready to come in. Right? So. Do the work do the work and it’ll come back to you, whatever it is that you’re putting out there.
Again, remember no matter what your belief systems are, what you put out there, you will get back what you say that you want to do. It can happen. You just really have to believe. And the one thing I’m all about service, you know, um, Napoleon Hill, right? His thing about serving others. Like when you give you get.
When you reap you sow so that’s the working for it. You got to plant it. You got to get prepared for these different times. And also know that there’s always going to be this. I mean, we live, we live in a right. We live in a rotation. We let everything 360. Right. So put it out there and keep on working. Stop doubtin’ yourself.
I know everyone’s talking about imposter syndrome. Don’t get caught up in all that stuff. We know don’t waste your time, even trying to analyze it. We all have these, um, self limiting beliefs. Just keep on doing what you gotta do because someone’s idea and their thriving now was once at a position where you are, whether that’s children, whether that’s, you know, I’m working for, for an employer or whatever, you just really have to just, I don’t want to curse.
So I’ll say no, because I think some times is impactful. But what I want to say is you have to say. Forget every one in the sense. And I know I said human centered, but what I’m saying is you have the trick. You have to sometimes trick your mind, like forget what people are saying and just keep on doing it my word of the year.
And I would impore that all of you take this word as well is fearlessness, you have to move, um, you have to move without fear. And know that maybe you’re not for everyone. I always tell myself I may not be for everyone. You know, I, I always, I look to speak to people and look to speak in different environments.
Um, and some people are just like, no, and then some people are like, yeah, I am interested. Let’s talk more. And what I’ll say is if I, given all of the barriers and stuff that are imposed on, on blackness and black people can still find a way to thrive in the things that she is passionate about. I know for a fact that all of you can do the same, you know, um, I’ve created something out of nothing.
And, and to even take that. It’s not nothing. I did have something, I put something out there. Right. And, uh, the exponential effect of what you put out there and the work that you put out there, you’ll, you’ll be okay. Um, I would say focus on the, working on your business, not in your business. That’s really important.
Um, in your hustle. So don’t sit up there and waste your time and these menial tasks. If it’s something you can delegate, go to Upwork, go to Fiverr, go do whatever you gotta do to work on your business. Stay really, really positive. My pep talks are really long, but I believe in you and I want you to keep your focus because anything that you are going through shall pass and that’s it.
Roxanne: My goodness. I don’t know how you can’t be fired up from that. Pep-talk. I am so inspired by everything. That’s Zanade just shared with us.
One of the things that’s interesting to me is as I sat down. Ready to prep this podcast today. I found myself really drawn to this particular pep-talk from Zanade and I just. I didn’t know why. I couldn’t remember. I remembered that I loved her energy. I, you know, I mean, there’s been, I’ve done some amazing interviews, met some absolutely incredible women through this podcast.
And I couldn’t remember exactly what she had said in her pep talk. So as I sat there and listened. Especially to that very first thing she reminded us. What you are doing is worthy. What you believe in is valid. These words. Ooh, they still just give me chills. I. I’m reminded why this is one of my favorite parts of the podcast. So I hope you enjoyed that one. Next step we’re going to hear from Priscilla Aguila.
Priscilla Aguila: You know, I always dreamt about being an entrepreneur. And like I said, I want to be, I’m closer to 50 than I am 40. And for me to be able to start this and I feel confident about it and I’m like, I couldn’t be happier, you know? I mean, and I don’t even think I tell people, I am probably the least financially sound now as I was, since I was in college, but I don’t really give a damn because I love what I’m doing.
I love what I’m doing. And. And what I’m doing majority of what I’m doing is not even business-related, but it’s sorta is, you know, and I think that’s the thing is if you put your mind depending on what your, your mindset is, um, you know, that could help you go far or help you, whatever. But as a parent, I mean, that’s the best thing I could teach my kids is to do what you love.
And I never actually thought that I would really say, do what you love, but it’s okay if you don’t get paid for it, but you’re going to get paid for other things too. But you know, the dream is eventually this will be, um, The thing that I love, the thing that I’ll get paid for.
Roxanne: One of my favorite things about Priscilla is the joy and the love that she exudes. We have had some fun conversations over the last few years, and every single time I interact with Priscilla, I’m just struck and amazed by her light and her joy. And her enthusiasm to be alive. It’s absolutely inspiring to me.
This pep talk for me is a good reminder that happiness really is an important part of the work that I’m doing. It’s an important part of, for me slowing down, reimagining hustle, changing the work that I do, moving forward in a way that allows me to. Become more and more myself. I tell my kids this all the time that my job is not to make them who I think they’re supposed to be.
My job is to help them become the best versions of themselves, whoever that is for them. And part of that is doing what makes you happy. So I loved this pep talk from Priscilla. Next up, we have Jennifer Locke.
Jennifer Locke: You know, I, like I said before, we, it is so easy to look out outside of our family and our home and our business to look at what everybody else is doing. And to think that somehow they’ve got things figured out. That we don’t have figured out and that they’re somehow doing it better than us and were failing or, or whatever.
And that’s when that guilt comes in, when we’re looking at other people and being like, oh, I’m not measuring up to something. I don’t know what, but I’m not measuring up. Um, but when I get like that, and when I feel like I’m lagging behind or doing a poor job or failing on different fronts, I’m like, okay, Spend time with my girls today, did we have some connection time where it was just me and them, even if it wasn’t that long, you know, even if it was just a few minutes, even if they watched too much TV that your budding wind, you know, it, even if I felt super tired, did I have that connection time with.
Did we connect with one another? Did I love them for those moments? That’s what they’re going to remember. You know, that counts for way more than any of the other points that we dock against ourselves. We’re the meanest to ourselves sometimes, but now our kids are going to remember the good stuff. And so we can, um, Remember that and feel confident in the work that we’re doing.
And remember to keep our eyes on our own paper and to celebrate our celebrate each little step in the journey, stay present, stay grateful and just cultivate joy every day. And that’s what counts.
Roxanne: Keep your eyes on your own paper. Sometimes I need this message a little more than others. I loved this reminder from Jennifer. I love the idea of focusing on the things that are functional and helpful for our family. We see this in our family a lot. My kids are not as involved in everything as other kids in our neighborhood are, and that’s because it’s functional for our family. It works for our family.
Uh, it’s not saying that it’s better or worse. It’s not comparing in any sense. It’s just this idea of keeping our eyes on our own paper.
I really appreciate that jennifer talks about how this is a lot of times where the guilt comes in. Right? We look at other families, we look at other kids, we, you know, see what all these other people are involved in. And we start to wonder are we doing the right thing? We start to feel guilty that, you know, our kids aren’t involved in everything.
It’s okay. Right. You got to do what’s functional for your family. You’ve got to do what makes sense. For your family.
There’s so much power in changing the culture of your own family, because it gives your kids permission as well to change their own internal culture, right? It gives them permission to trust that they are doing the things that they want. They’re not doing the things that everybody tells them to. The culture that I think many of us grew up in, and I definitely know that I grew up in this culture, is that I had a lot of people making decisions for me.
I had other people telling me the things that I should be pursuing, the choices I should be making in my life. And that was all based on what everybody else was doing. My peace, my internal peace, was found when I stopped listening to what everybody else was telling me to do. When I stopped listening to the decisions that were being made for me by other people and started listening to myself. So I like this reminder, especially in a familial sense to make sure that as a family, you’re keeping your eyes on your own paper.
I loved, loved, loved that message from Jennifer. Next step we have Kiva Slade.
Kiva Slade: All right, let’s go everybody. Right? This is your business. This is your life. And I want you to make those determinations for yourself as to what you do, what you don’t do. And in order to do that, you really need to carve out for yourself. Why did you start this? Remember your, why? Tape it up, post it on your computer, post it on the wall.
Post-it wherever you need to post it, to remind yourself when things start to get dark, you starting to feel like, I don’t know why I’m doing this, or I have too much of this or not enough of this. Remind yourself as to why you started this. Always go back to that and then also, work on your mindset.
So much of being a business owner and being a parent is about mindset because honestly, sometimes what we might’ve been taught or how we were raised may not have been the best ways in which to deal with even us when we were growing up. So therefore they may not be the best practices to deal with our own children now.
And it’s all about our own self-growth our own self-learning and self-development. Take that time to define your why take that time to re-educate yourself in many cases, and continue to learn and develop yourself to be the best version of you that is needed for right now. Okay. And then lastly, remind yourself again that you can do this.
You can do hard things. You can do easy things. You can really do whatever it is. You need to do. And for some of us that is make a list of all the hard things in your life that you’ve done, we might look back and you’re like, I broke my ankle when I was 10. And look at that, I actually healed and I was able to run again and I ran a marathon, write it down because when those times.
That come with parenting that come with being a business owner where you have to remind yourself again, Hey, this is really hard. You can look back at that list and say, you know what? I’ve done these eight hard things. I can do this thing too. So those are my words of wisdom for you to define your why, refer back to it, know yourself and make yourself better and remind yourself that you can do hard things, no matter what they are.
Roxanne: Not just one gem, but three from Kiva. Whew. Remember your why, know yourself, and remember you can do hard things.
I love this suggestion to make a list of all the hard things that you’ve done. One of my favorite things that I do with a lot of my clients, one of the things that I teach a lot. Is to write a to- done list instead of a to-do list. So at the end of the day, write all the things that you accomplished.
It’s a good reminder that you are actually getting a lot of things done, even though it might not feel like it. And it also helps you take accountability into how you’re spending your time. This writing a list of doing hard things. I feel like takes a step back and looks at you holistically and, and a much bigger picture. Right? What are the hard things that you’ve done?
Raising a kid? That’s hard. Starting a business? That’s hard. But what about other hard things? What other hard things have you done in your life? You know, I’ve had multiple surgeries that I’ve recovered from. I’ve. I’ve had a lot of life changes. I’ve recovered from, I think about even things that I’m looking forward to, that I’m a little bit stressed about that are bringing up a lot of anxiety for me. And I think, no, you know, I’ve done similar things before I can do hard things.
This is a great reminder, just an absolute great reminder. And then again, this message of remember why you’re doing what you’re doing. So, so important. Helps keep everything in perspective. Kiva is just whew. Gem after gem after gem. Last up. We have a pep talk from Shelby St. Claire.
Shelby St Claire: I think that the best pep-talk I can give you is to. After you listened to this episode and you go to sleep tonight. I want you to imagine living the life of your dreams. I want you to envision waking up tomorrow morning and literally having a smile on your face for the work that you’re doing.
Feel it within your body. Does it feel good? Does it excite you? Do you want to do more of it and how are you changing? Not only your life, but maybe other people’s life with the work that you’re doing. And if you’re sitting in there, when you wake up in the morning and it’s not that excitement, and it’s not everything that you dream of, and there’s this knot in your stomach of what am I supposed to do today?
I want you to dive deeper into that. And ask yourself, why? Why is that not there and how can you change it? Maybe what you’re doing is everything that you’re supposed to be doing within your life. But there’s something that’s holding you back, right? Maybe it’s that you have that version of hustle that isn’t working for you because you’ve been listening to
gary V, which maybe he’s not your energetic match. And maybe you just need somebody that to listen to that understands you, that understands where you are, because when you started the business that you’re in right now, it landed on your heart for a reason. And so if you still don’t have that excitement every single day, waking up.
Something needs to change and it’s within you. You just have to dig deeper to find the answer because the happiness that you desire, the life that you desire, the dreams, the goals that you have, it’s all on the other side of you allowing yourself to dive deeper within who you are and rise in your power to live in your purpose.
Roxanne: Such a great message to end on from Shelby St. Claire. Dream a little bit. And I definitely would encourage you to try this exercise. If you haven’t done this. Uh, Take some time and do it just within the next few days. I, so I have this thing called aphantasia, which means I can’t, I don’t have like a mind’s eye when I close my eyes. I don’t visualize anything. It blew my mind when I learned that people actually could see stuff.
Um, so I don’t particularly love visualization exercises because they’re really, really hard for me. So I’m going to tell you what I do, instead. And this may be helpful for you if you’ve ever struggled with visualization exercises as well. I sit in front of my computer and just type. I have done this where I just write as well, but I
because I’m a fairly decent typist. I can close my eyes and actually type. And so I close my eyes and again, it’s all black. I can’t visualize anything, but I feel what it would feel like to move through my dream life. What does that look like to me? What does it feel like? And I type it through as though I were writing it out in a story.
This alternative to visualization has been really helpful and it might be helpful for you as well. You don’t have to close your eyes. You can keep your eyes open and type, or you can hand write it out. You can’t see me. I’m sitting here talking with my hands. You can write it out.
But take some time and actually visualize, or conceptualize, or imagine, or dream. What could life look like for you?
If you’ve never done this exercise before it can be terrifying. Because nobody’s ever given you permission to just dream, to just imagine. This part of our brain. That is there to protect us and is there to keep us safe, kicks in and is like, stop it. That’s not going to happen. That’s not possible that isn’t, you know, that’s not what you’re supposed to want. It tells us a lot of things that aren’t true.
So, if that happens to you, Don’t try to ignore it. Instead thank that part of your brain for trying to keep you safe. Out loud if you need to, it might feel a little silly, but do it anyway. Just say thank you for keeping me safe. I understand you’re here trying to help me. I don’t need you right now. So I’m going to have you just step to the side. You can say whatever you’re going to say, but I need you to know that I’m not going to listen to you for the next five minutes, 10 minutes, whatever it will be.
And anytime that voice comes up, be like, I hear you, but remember, I’m not listening to you right now and pull yourself back into that dreaming that imagining. This is such a fun exercise to try. And the other part that I will tell you is, again, if you’ve never done this before, It can be really, really difficult. So do it and understand it’s going to be hard and then do it again the next day and understand it’s going to be hard again, and then do it again the next day and understand it will still be hard, but you will get better at it. Just, just let yourself be with yourself. Try it. See. Take this wisdom from Shelby and. And just see, just see what it’s like. To imagine.
Your dream life. And keep doing this until it starts to feel familiar to you.
Thanks for listening to Reimagining hustle with Roxanne Merket. If you like the show and want more, check out reimagining hustle.com and please leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. We’ll be back next week with another episode. See you soon.